For The Record:

Illinois/Indiana/Chicago Metro Area doctors piss me off.

Condescending clerks piss me off.

Winter can go fuck itself. No really, it can.

“Pro” Magic players piss me off, as do Yu Gi Oh! players.

Do you want to know why?


Well, here you go:

The doctor I was supposed to see on Saturday won’t see me because I am too far along for her to take on as a new patient. I am now tearing my hair out because I have spent the last few weeks trying to get in to see some doctor, any fucking doctor, and I only have time to call and look after 4pm because I cannot use my phone between 7:50-3pm on weekdays, and until I get home or to the store, I can’t comfortably call people to find out whether they can see me, much less WHEN they can see me.

Yeah, I should have anticipated being unemployed and chosen a doctor that DID accept Medicaid. My former OBGYN won’t, and I can’t afford to pay him. I hate the idea of using the ER as my PCP, but since I can do it for free as a medicaid patient and I can’t get in to see a regular doctor, I don’t see how I really have a choice.

When I called to let the clerk at medicaid know what was going on, she kept on admonishing me for not seeing a doctor sooner. I saw a doctor in November, then got fired right before Christmas. I’m not fucking stupid; I just had no time to get to a doctor, between holidays and jobs. Yes, I am VERY aware that I need to see a doctor. No, I have no idea how women gave birth without having a doctor hold their hands through the entire pregnancy. I know, I know, I KNOW! I am not some fucking ignorant cunt who opened her legs for some random guy and found herself smuggling a watermelon eight months later.

It continues to fucking snow and be ice fucking cold. Even with layers on, I was completely numb by the time I got to the store. I am so sick of winter that I could just spit. It has been a hard, cold winter, and it doesn’t look like there’s any relief in sight.

The winter may explain why we’ve had a hard time getting people to come to the store, but I think it’s more than that. I think Bob is driving people away from the store, and he only shows up every once in a while to mock us. Thanks to the poor turnout, we will most likely be closing the store soon. I am not happy about this at all, but there’s not a whole hell of a lot that I can do. I can’t even take out another loan.

Anyway, it feels like everything has been the opposite of help. I’m getting better at my job, but I’m so fucking discouraged that I could just scream. I’m going to have to hope that WAH comes through, so that I can make better money. If people would actually WORK with me here, it would make life much easier. My coach is cheering me on, but if I don’t don’t graduate, she’ll have no choice but to let me go.

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